Dear Aunty Em,
I know Shelly said she would make coffee and show you how but she fell asleep. I took over and made it as I have watched enough times by now to be able to do it.
Step One: get a turkish coffee pot.
Step Two: Fill it up with water to the bend in the pot.
Step Three: Add a spoon of sugar to the water and stir.
Step Ladder: This is a three cup pot so add three spoons of finely ground coffee and spread it out a little without squashing it down.
Step Five: Set it to a medium heat.
Step Six: Watch from a safe distance. An unwatched coffee pot ALWAYS boils over.
Step Seven: Try not to freak out when it begins to resemble the tar pits that got your cousin Lenny.
Step Eight: Keep watching and listening til it starts to bubble like this.
Evil Stepmother: When the coffee all goes under the bubbles take it off the heat.
Step Ten: Get your coffee cups ready.
Step Eleven: Spoon out the coffee grounds and put it in the coffee cups. A spoonful per cup.
Step Twelve: Stir and appreciate the lovely crema.
Step Thirteen: Pour.
Stepford Wives: Wonder how long it will be before you are able to pour coffee without spilling a lot of it beside each cup.
Step Fifteen: Burn your fingertips bringing the coffee to the table.
Step Sixteen: Wake up your human and feed them coffee.
Step Right Up: Don’t forget that this stuff needs to settle and never swirl the coffee while drinking it because you end up with a mouth full of grounds. The last bits of your cup of coffee are to be approached carefully.
Drinking this is akin to pumping normal coffee into your veins. Enjoy!
Your dino buddy xx